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My Testimony: The Great Mystery Revealed!
Colossians 2:2 speaks of the full assurance of understanding, unto the full knowledge of the mystery of God, Christ. Although I grew up believing the Bible and believing that Christ was the Son of God, I had little understanding of the Bible and I had no sense of peace with God. I was intrigued with the thought of God but I was more afraid of God as some mysterious, all-powerful being. I went to church and attended Sunday school, and memorized certain Bible verses. I thought I was okay, but I had no assurance. I assumed that being a Christian was something I would do when I got old; yet during my pre-teenage years I did pray (privately) on several occasions, asking Christ into my heart. But my private beliefs never transferred into my living and I never felt much different than before. Like most boys in my neighborhood I was more concerned with fishing or playing basketball. All seemed happy and well in my world. But dramatic events were soon to turn this world upside-down.
My teenage years were marked by great disappointment, loss, frustration and failure. My parents separated and divorced when I was 13 or 14 and this began in me a slow process of self doubt, insecurity and anger. I tried to turn to friends but I was not particularly social, and many friendships led to negative influences. I passed through rebellion and painful ordeals with friends which left me wounded and confused about life. After many painful experiences and personal failures I felt as if I had reached the very bottom of life’s existence. Because of my own foolishness I eventually had no one to turn to and nearly nowhere to go. God tried to speak to me at various times, but I was too weak to respond. My outward shell of self-confidence masked that I was dying inwardly. Life had been reduced to empty and joyless survival.
My twentieth birthday found me alone and struggling to find meaning in life. My dear grandmother would send me tracts and I know that she prayed for me during these times. Then, through God’s arrangement, I met a gentleman who worked behind the front desk at a YMCA where I was living. He would often greet me with a comforting grin and would make me feel as if I were important. Eventually, as I spent time conversing with him about many things, he shared with me how Christ had totally changed his life, filling him with inner peace and radiant joy. His words sank deep into my heart. I could see that he really possessed what he spoke of, and that I did not. Through his faithful witnessing I was led to give my life unreservedly and absolutely to the Lord Jesus Christ. I realized that Christ was not just a part of a religion, but that He was the most wonderful Person in the universe who now had become my savior and life. Oh the joy that flooded my soul, washing away all the doubts, healing all my wounds and filling me with joy and reality! The mystery of God, Christ, was revealed to me and I knew the reason for my human life. This was the glorious beginning of my Christian journey.
I was baptized in the spring of 1980 and began devouring the Word of God. I sought to know and do God’s will. This led to another mystery. What was God’s will? How was I to live as a Christian? I was helped to grow initially by some dear Christian brothers and sisters, but before long I was on a plateau, unable to advance. During this time I was brought into contact with the ministry of Watchman Nee when an older sister in the Lord gave me a copy of The Song of Songs. I had listened to many popular teachers and had read a number of books, but when I read this book I saw the Lord as never before. I was brought into a more intimate relationship with Christ and was strengthened in my Christian life.
During the same period of time, I met some Christian brothers and was invited to their home. I saw that they lived for the Lord daily and pursued Christ absolutely. This attracted me and opened my eyes to see how a Christian should really live. Gradually the Lord led me to begin attending some meetings with these brothers. Their meetings were different than the traditional ones I knew as a child, but I always sensed God’s presence and God’s Word was being spoken by all.
Through the care of many believers, I was helped practically to pursue my education and spiritually to grow in Christ and experience not only the individual Christian life, but a life as a functioning member of the Body of Christ. I was introduced to the ministry of Watchman Nee’s closest co-worker, Witness Lee, and found the same feeding and taste of life and truth. Through video messages from the book of Exodus, through daily morning Bible study and prayer in the book of Ephesians, and through the ministry of Witness Lee and Watchman Nee, the Bible was opened to me in a fresh and living way. God’s Word was alive to me and it touched every part of my living. I found the Christian life to be one full of joy, adventure, challenge and meaning. After much prayer, fellowship, and searching the Scriptures, I joyfully gave my whole being to the Lord for the building up of His Body, the church, composed of all believers (Eph. 1:22-23). I saw the testimony of Jesus and I saw the golden, shining lampstands as many churches expressing the Lord in oneness in many localities (Rev. 1:9, 11, 12, 20).
My sincerest and deepest prayer of “Not my will, Lord, but Thy will be done” concerning my service to Him was answered. It was not a matter of what I wanted to do for Him, but what His desire was. I am still full of thanksgiving to the Lord for leading me. I feel blessed, but also very humbled, because I truly believe the lines of the hymn which says:
Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God it found out me. (Hymns, #296)
I discovered the true meaning of both my human life and my Christian life. By His great mercy Christ, the mystery of God, was revealed to me. Not only this, but I was also brought to know the mystery of Christ which is the church of God’s heart’s desire! (Ephesians 3:4) The Lord spoke to me much like He did to Peter concerning the revelation of Him, that “...I also say to you...I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:8) “This mystery is great, but I speak with regard to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32)
Eric Massey
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